i hate you all. no, really, i do.

I am now acclimated to the scent of Noxzema. I hate how it smells. But I sort of have to get used to it. Because I need a lot of it. I find it wierd how everyone else in my family can get a tan and not a sunburn. But I wasn't trying to get tan or burnt; it just happened. But still. It's such bullshit, especially because they all find it so funny to rag on me because I'm burnt. But it's nasty. I'm so red. It hurts to move my arms at all because my shoulders are really burnt. &When I sit, i slouch so my back hurts because I'm like "pulling" the sunburn. &Then my stomach hurts because I'm "folding" the sunburn. &My torso gets itchy, so I go to scratch it &of course, that's like one of the worst burnt places. &My neck is burnt to, so it hurts when I turn my head. Lovely. &THE BEST PART IS THAT MY FACE IS SO BURNT THAT IT HURTS WHEN I BLINK! HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN SUCK SO BAD &SAY THAT THEY'RE SO SUNBURNT THAT IT HURTS WHEN THEY BLINK? I dunno, or care, quite frankly. But my face hurts like hell. I look like hell. &I didn't mean because I am red. I just look so fucked up. Not that that's unusual...but yeah. Well. Anyone who wants to fill up a bathtub with ice cubes for me will be paid or bartered with, albeit if you want cash, or perhaps, sexual favors. ...I kid, I kid.

P.S. My face &lips are swollen due to the sunburn. KTHXBAI.

I'm such a horrible person. No. Not horrible. Whenever I plan on doing something that is important. I always puss out. Why? Because I suck. I suckity, suck, suck. I went to the beach today with Amy, &I had a great time. BUT. I got really burnt &it's gross. Then I went to CVS &got this bottle thing of Noxzema. I'm bored as hell. I suck. I need to have fun. I suck at life &I suck at being me &I suck at being real &I just really overall suck. Someone, anyone, help me stop...sucking so bad. KTHXBAI.

I hate you. I like you. I love you. I want you. I need you. You hate me. You like me. You love me. You want me. You need me. I don't want you. I don't need you. I don't want you. I don't like you. I don't love you. I don't hate you. You don't need me. You don't want me. You don't like me. You don't love me. You don't hate me. I make you laugh. I make you smile. I make you happy. I make you complete. I make you cry. I make you scream. I make you frown. I make you angry. I make you sad. I make you empty. You make me laugh. You make me smile. You make me happy. You make me complete. You make me cry. You make me scream. You make me frown. You make me angry. You make me sad. You make me empty. I hurt you. You hurt me. I reassure you. You reassure me. I hit you. You hit me. I apologize. You apologize. I make you scared. You make me shake. You make me shake. You make me shake. You keep me shaking. I'm standing here, shaking. You're standing there, laughing. I'm insulting. You're insulting. I'm hurtful. You're hurtful. I'm plain old mean. You're plain old mean. I'm hot. You're hot. I'm colorful, yet colorless simultaneously. You're colorful, yet colorless simultaneously. I'm impatient. You're impatient. I'm clingy. You're clingy. I'm unforgiving. You're unforgiving. I'm vague. You're vague. I'm still shaking. You're still laughing. I'm dishonest. You're honest. I'm disrespectful. You're respectful. I'm clichéd. You're clichéd. I'm blasé. You're flamboyant. &Yet, we're utterly flawless.

So! I got a tBLOG because Maria wanted me to &I always bug her about other journal services. Today was really uneventul; I woke up, waited for my mom to get home, went to the bank, food store, &laundromat. Came home, helped to make dinner, ate dinner, rode bikes with Amy. Filled up my bike tires with air &covered it in WD40. Got covered in grease that came out of the handlebar thing (WTF?!), came back to my house with Amy, talked about nonsense, watched Family Guy, &ate popcorn. Went online.

Nicole's party is Tuesday; should be fun, I will be getting out of the house, I think I have cabin fever. Um, I've decided to keep my personal life to myself &the like, not that I really let anyone in on my personal life in the first place...because then it would obviously not be my personal life. God, I suck at life so much. &I don't like 3 out of the 8 people going, great. But they don't seem to like me either, &if they do, they sure do a great job of being fucking bitches &hiding it, not that I mind because like I said...I don't like them.

I was considering getting Nicole a T.S. Elliot book instead of just the regular $20...but I'm not too sure how much cash that will set me back. Hm. Amazon.com would have it for cheaper, but I am not guaranteed to get it on time, plus I don't have a credit card or PayPal, &I already owe my brother for a shirt. Fuck. I hate being in debt.

&FIESTA DE SIESTA Y TE A LA CASA DE MARIA A LA NOCHE DE MARTES.